Compassion – thoughts along the way!

Something to make your heart sing

The Call the Midwife series has touched many viewers’ hearts. One reason is that there have been beautiful precious moments where someone with compassion has reached into a another's life and met them at their point of need. One such time was when Sister Julienne, the head nun draws alongside a nun who is confused and suffering from Alzheimer’s. This nun, Sister Monica Joan, has made an error which could have proved fatal for a pregnant lady. Now in the chapel she asks the Lord to forgive her and protect everyone from the ‘demons’. And here comes the heart –touching scene. For Sister Juliene draws alongside her and gently says ‘ there are no demons, your mind gets tired that is all. When your mind gets forgets – we will remember.’

When I am old and losing it, this is the kind of person I want drawing alongside me. Don’t we all want someone who will reach into our lives when we are helpless and say ‘we are with you, we will walk the walk with you’ and where possible, even more ‘we will make things better!’ And there is more - don’t we want someone to do this because they want to do it? That they almost feel compelled to do it! This is what compassion is. It is when someone has a desire to reach in and help someone who is helpless and- unable to help themselves. To reach in at their point of need. Com  = with, passion = suffering. It’s about being open armed, not holding back but reaching out to help. Rather like a mother dropping her shopping and open armed – rushes over to pick up her child who has fallen over. But it’s not just about the initial reaching out, but that in her response there is a commitment to give on-going compassion, love and care , just as to Sister Monica Joan promises when she says ’when you forget – we will remember’”.

When we see this happening in films and more preciously in real life– it makes our hearts sing!

No singing here!

In contrast, many of us have read or heard stories from the Francis Report. Here the lack of compassion that many patients experienced has caused shock waves and disbelief across the country. It would seem that once too often there was no nurse available to step in, no one to help those who needed help – and as a consequence, patients were left in their faeces, patients were left dying of thirst, and patients were just left!    No hearts singing now, just questions and lots of them.

Maybe a question to ask is – where does compassion come from?

The short answer is that our ability to be compassionate comes from God. The Bible teaches that all human beings are capable of being compassionate because all human beings are made in the image of God – in other words we are made to be like God, to reflect him. And to be like God is to be compassionate, because God is described as the God of all compassion.

And so when we see others being compassionate, in big ways –  or little ways, maybe a kind smile, or a squeeze of an arm, just indicating that they are with someone who is sad or distressed, we shouldn’t think how amazing they are – but rather we should thank God for them. For in that small or bigger way, they are reflecting God’s image in their lives and others are benefitting.

That is all very well, but what about the times when there is lack of compassion shown in our own lives and in the lives of others.  What has happened then?  The answer is – The Fall.  The Fall marked the time when sin entered the world. It’s the time when mankind decided we wanted to rule God’s world. We wanted to decide what is right and what is wrong.

As a result, God judged mankind by sending them away from his presence, never to be able to return by their own efforts. No more close fellowship with God, no more perfect relationships with each other, no more perfect living in God’s world, all to end in death and a fearful future beyond.

But in God’s kindness, he didn’t remove his image from us completely. We still reflect something of God, but our image is distorted. Rather like when I look into a cracked mirror.  There is some thing about the image looking back at me that is me! But at the same time my image looks all wrong too.

And it is the ‘cracked mirror image’ that helps us understand why all human beings have a desire to reach into some ones’ life and meet them at their point of need – to be compassionate.

It helps us understand that when we reach in with compassion, the compassion we give, might not always be the best for those we seek to help, whether behind closed doors in families or in society generally.

Furthermore, it helps us understand that when societies start crying out for compassion, for example in the euthanasia debate and their cry is not rooted in a desire to reflect God’s image –then whole societies can find themselves going down a dark and dangerous road.

It also helps us understand why there are times when compassion is sadly lacking in our lives and the lives of others. It helps us understand why we can be so horribly cruel to each other, why we can walk past someone who is crying and not be stirred at all.

How unlike God we are when we are like this and sadly our behaviour confirms God’s judgment on us - that we all deserve a fearful judgement.

Something to make our hearts sing forever!

But again, God in his kindness had a plan to restore people like you and me back to himself for EVER! His plan exposes the very heart of who he is – a beautiful God of love and compassion.

As God looked out at mankind – his heart broke. For he saw our ruined image, once so beautiful as we reflected (and brought glory to) our maker. He saw Satan the great deceiver, influencing our very being and, as John Owen writes:

‘knowing that eternal distress was at everyone’s door, this aroused a desire in him to reach in and meet us at our greatest need…….”Come forth from your vain shelter, your hiding-place I will put myself into your condition. I will undergo and bear that burden of guilt and punishment which would sink you eternally into the bottom of hell. I will pay that which I never took; and be made temporally a curse for you, that you may attain to eternal blessedness”’.

And this truth is the key to any Christian as they consider what it is to be compassionate.

Come to Jesus first

That first, we need to come ‘forth’ as John Owen would say to Jesus. recognising in ourselves our terrible condition before God and knowing that Jesus and Jesus alone can help. Rather like leper’s encounter with Jesus in Mark 1:40-45:  He knew his need, he was desperate to be healed, and he came to Jesus, knowing that ‘if he was willing he could make him well’.

Come to him with humility. Because in coming to Jesus, we are recognising how far we have got things wrong and that we are dependent on Jesus stepping in and helping us.

And know the compassion of Jesus.

Jesus response to the leper’s request is immediate. He is filled with compassion, stretches out his hand and heals him. And so it is with us. As we sinners, turn and repent, so Jesus through his spirit rushes out to greet us and brings us into a relationship with his Father in heaven starting in this life and will go on forever!  And not only that, daily as we continue to acknowledge our dependence on Jesus, as we come to him in daily repentance in humility, so in little ways and big ways, he continues to reach into our lives with all compassion. Furthermore, with God’s spirit in us, we can start being renewed in the knowledge in the image of our creator (Col 3:10), knowing that one day, in the future we will fully reflect the image of our creator for ever!

As we are being renewed in this way daily, so we will start to feel the compassion that God feels, we will begin to be compassionate as Jesus is compassionate!

Coming to Jesus is the key to reaching out to others with compassion

Christian compassion means no more discrimination; Knowing this kind of love and compassion in our own lives will help us, even more, free us to reach into others’ lives with the compassion of Jesus. After all, we know that there was nothing about us that led Jesus to show us compassion. But he was! The cross proves it. And so, as we look out at others, we should not discriminate either.

A friend recently told me how she had been frustrated and angered by a patient who was both demanding and difficult. One morning she prayed to Jesus and asked for his forgiveness for not loving this patient. She then prayed that Jesus would give her his compassion. The result was that she now gets on much better with her patient and is developing a real love for her! Something of the image of God is shining through her! And what is more, other colleagues are noticing and are amazed! 

But even as I write these words, I am aware that I often lack compassion. There are times when I ignore others cries for help. It is true that I am still a work in progress, but my lack of compassion may be due to not grasping a key component to Christian compassion – that Christian compassion always includes sacrifice.  

Christian compassion always includes sacrifice

Returning to the encounter of the leper with Jesus. We read that Jesus commands him to ‘show himself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for his cleansing as a testimony to them.  You see, before the leper could enter back into society, before he could join others to worship in the temple, the law had to be fulfilled by a sacrifice being offered.

And so it is with the sacrifice of Jesus for us. In living the perfect life, Jesus fulfilled God’s law perfectly. And the law stated that a perfect lamb was the sacrifice for our sins. Jesus was that lamb, the lamb of God – who came to take away our sins – once and for all.

Here is the connection with compassion. The only way that Jesus could reach in and help us, was through his painful death on the cross. There was no other way!

Furthermore, if we are to be compassionate as Jesus is compassionate, then it will cost us too. When we wrestle with our lack of compassion toward others behind closed doors; when we are prepared to be spent for others. It will cost us in the way we spend our time as we put others needs before our own. It will cost us in the way we speak to others, with kindness and generosity. It may even cost our health.

Living like this will make our hearts sing, as we experience something of God’s power working in us changing us to become like his Son Jesus. It will make God’s heart sing as he works in us for this to happen. Others’ hearts might sing as they experience something of God’s compassion. Furthermore, for some, their experience will cause them to ask where it comes from, leading them to respond to the gospel! And that leads to a party heaven and – not wanting to overstate things – this will be good for our nation. 

To finish! A personal note for Mr Francis. If I were to write to you Mr Francis, I would like to recommend that gospel compassion (people hearing and responding to the gospel) will go a long way to answer our challenges within the NHS!

Nursing - Unchanging Values in a Changing World

A couple of months ago, a number of nurses met together at our regular London Refreshment Dinner where a retired nurse shared her experiences of nursing in the UK during the years of 1971 – 1996.

What was it like nursing in the 1970’s?

 I vividly remember my first day! On arrival a porter took my bags to my bedroom, where I found my uniform laid out on the bed. That first evening all ‘fresher nurses’  donned their uniforms and learnt how to make beds,  something that epitomized the apprentice training that we were about to undertake.

Another memory. The ward layout was different.  Most patients were nursed on Nightingale Wards. These wards had about 15 beds on either side, with the nurses’ station situated somewhere in the middle. Because of this layout, it was rare for a nurse not to be in the ward at all times. Added to this, there were no buzzers and so nurses were dependent on patients calling out for help or assessing a patient’s condition as they passed by.

Looking back – What ethos helped you care for patients in the 1970’s

Teamwork – Nurses worked closely together to get their work done. There was a camaraderie that said ‘that we could cope with anything as long as the team worked well together’!  On some wards, nurses were not able to go home at the end of their shift until all their colleagues had finished their work too. 

Authority and discipline. Sister was the person who took responsibility for overall patient care. This meant that as long as a student/nurse followed her instructions, they were free from fear of being disciplined.

Kindness and honouring patients. We were taught to treat patients as honoured guests. That somehow, the ward was seen as a place where nurses were ‘practicing hospitality’ and where kindness was practiced and encouraged.

Were there special moments?

There was a patient who had been unresponsive and unable to speak for many months due to a cerebral haemorrhage. On the day of Prince Charles's wedding to Diana, the ward was celebrating the occasion. The day-room had been decorated and patients and staff were all watching the event unfold on the television. This lady too had been wheeled into the day room. As she watched the television she was fairly unresponsive. Then she suddenly said ‘look there are the horses’. For me, that was one of my most precious moments.

Do you think it was easier to share your faith during your time nursing?

Yes, because people were more accepting of the Christian faith. In fact, in the hospital where I worked, prayers were said on the ward at 08:00 every morning.  I also had a time when I prayed with another Christian nurse who worked on the same ward. I believe that this led to opportunities to share faith with staff, patients and relatives.

Is there a specific example of you sharing your faith with a patient?   Yes. One patient came back from Easter day, and asked what it meant that Jesus had risen from the dead. I sat down and explained what the resurrection meant, and she wonderfully became a Christian! I do want to say, that opportunities like that were very rare.

  

What advice would you give to Christian nurses today?

Well, Nursing today is very different but God’s timeless truths are relevant for all Christian nurses at any time, any place! And so I want to leave you with two thoughts.

The first thought comes from 2 Thessalonians1:11 & 12.

In these verses Paul is praying for the Thessalonians who are going through a tough time because of their faith. And so he prays that they will continue to live Jesus’ way in hard times so that -  God would count Christians worthy of his calling.  This sounds like an impossibly high call to achieve doesn't it? But the truth is that we are not alone.

Paul continues teaching us that God is the one who will enable us to do this. It will be God who will give us the power to fulfil every good purpose and every act, as we are prompted by our faith. In a nursing context, this means that our faith in Jesus will prompt us to care for our patients and others (both in the little things and the big things) with Jesus in mind.  It might even mean going against the flow of popular opinion at times.  But whatever situation we find ourselves in, we can rely that God will give us all we need. 

Amazing!

As this happens, something will happen to us. The name of the Lord Jesus will be glorified in us and us in him.  In other words, what is at the very heart of Jesus, the beautiful, sacrificial heart of Jesus will shine in us, and furthermore we will know more and more that we are in Jesus. It is like a two way traffic. You see as Jesus shines in us so we know more and more that we are safe in Jesus.

What is more, Christians will know that they can take no credit for what happens, but that it is all due to the gift of on-going grace from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. When Paul’s prayer is answered in our lives, we as Christians can’t lose, and many others will gain!

Second thought. Your smile goes a long way!

Transforming Failure

John 21:1-19

How often do we feel that we have failed, that we haven't lived up to our own, other's or God's expectation of ourselves, and that we have disqualified ourselves from being of any use to others or to God as a consequence?  You may feel that constantly, or occasionally, or maybe regularly but fleetingly.  But we all feel it at one time or another.

John's story about the unexpected post-resurrection breakfast on the beach of Lake Gallilee is one of my favourite stories of an encounter with Jesus - there are so many things going on in this story, so many nuances and details that you could write a whole book just about these few verses - and I have no doubt someone somewhere already has!

Trying to get back to normal life, those disciples who came from a fishing background had gone back home to their old business, and were out fishing in the pre-dawn cool, when the fish were usually nearer the surface and easier to catch. Only today they weren't having much luck - the fish just weren't 'biting'.  Then an oddly familiar figure on the shore encourages them to try on the other side of the boat - a request that must have rung a few bells, because when the huge trawl of 153 fish comes in, John immediately realises it is Jesus, and the ever impetuous Peter pulls on his clothes and plunges in to swim and wade to shore.

Smell is amazing in its ability to trigger memory, and I am told that charcoal fires have a very distinctive smell.  The last time Peter stood around a charcoal fire it was in the courtyard of the High Priest's house in Jerusalem the night Jesus was arrested a few days  earlier.  The darkest night of Peter's life, when a quick succession of serving girls and others recognised him by face and accent as one of Jesus' disciples - and where in fear of his life he had denied that he even knew his master and best friend.  I wonder if that was in Jesus' mind as he cooked his breakfast over such a fire, triggering that recent, painful memory in Peter.

So, over a familiar fisherman's breakfast, Jesus spends time in with his old friends in a way that was so ordinary and normal it must have been hard for them to reconcile it with the amazing and awful events of the last week. Indeed, they really don't know what to say. While he bids them come and bring their fish to share in his breakfast, it seems he already had enough fish and bread there to feed all of them - he had come well prepared. He did not need their fish, but encouraged them to share with him anyway - it was a meeting of friends, peers, brothers, not a wealthy master sharing his favours with his poor servants.

Then Peter and Jesus go for a post breakfast stroll along the lake with young John in tow behind them - what Jesus has to say is for Peter alone.  I doubt Peter had, at this point anyway, shared with his fellow disciples his shame in disowning Jesus. I am sure that they were all probably feeling some of sense of having let their master down in his hour of greatest need. However, Jesus had no interest in humiliating Peter in front of his friends. Even so he asks three times if Peter loves him, and three times Peter affirms that he does, and three times Jesus commissions Peter to go and feed and care for his sheep - meaning his church, his people.  Three questions, three affirmations and three commissions to balance Peter's three denials. Jesus did not revisit what had gone before, he didn't turn it into a time for soul searching - he gave Peter a job to do.  Despite letting Jesus down badly, Jesus was giving him another chance.  Follow the story of Peter in Acts and the letters of Paul and you'll see he managed to blow his second and third chances as well, but each time God gave him another chance.

We set ourselves high standards - we have to, we are professionals on whom patients and colleagues rely. If we get it wrong, people suffer or even die. But even then, sometimes we get it wrong, and have to learn from our errors to do better next time.  As Christians we also want to be good examples - to show our colleagues and patients the love and character of Jesus in our attitudes, speech and actions, but sometimes we blow it - getting cross and short with people, back biting, or failing to show care because we are under pressure of time or targets.  Someone says 'call yourself a Christian?' after we say or do something in an ill judged moment, and we feel a huge sense of failure.

But Jesus isn't into making people feel bad, or wallowing in introspection and self-analysis.  He has a kingdom to build, and in the example of Peter we can see the sort of people he is building it with - people to make mistakes, who deny him when they are scared, who misunderstand his teaching or misapply it, but who love him and want to follow him despite (and maybe especially BECAUSE) of our failings.  He is not in the business of using perfect people, he is in the business of transforming sinners into his people and through us building his kingdom. That is a hard process, a slow process, but he does not give up on us, so we need to not give up on him.

Our Willing Hands

While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man, “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” And immediately the leprosy left him.” (Luke 5:12-13, NIV 1984)

The nurse will find it easy to apply this short story from Luke’s gospel to him- or herself. We have made it our daily duty to be willing to clean, serve and heal the sick and the dispirited. The committed Christian nurse will find it easy to use this account as a sharp rebuke, “I must be more like Christ as I work! I must show the compassion that Jesus shows here!”

We quote in ferocious and exasperated tones to ourselves the poem by St Teresa of Avila:

Christ has no body but yours,
no hands, no feet on earth but yours,
yours are the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world,
yours are the feet with which he walks to do good,
yours are the hands with which he blesses all the world. 

 As we grow in our love for Jesus, we grow in a deep desire to serve him as we minister to the frail elderly in the nursing home, the dying young man for whom older parents keep a worried vigil at home, the shocked family around the ITU bed, the labouring mother. And so this story of Christ and the leper becomes our model, our duty, and sometimes, our burden.

This is not wrong. Christ is our model; to serve him, our duty; to share in the suffering of others, our burden. But, the problem in applying this story in that way is this: we are not intended, at least not first, to see ourselves as Jesus. We are not first, the compassionate healer. We are not first, the source of cleansing, reconciliation, hope and peace. We are first, ourselves, the lepers. We are wounded, broken, outcast, unclean. We are those who need to hear the concern in his voice, feel the tenderness of his touch, and receive the spiritual cleansing that he willingly provided as he laid his life down for us at Calvary.

Before we aim to be like Jesus in our work, we must first model ourselves on the leper. We must see Jesus, and do so as the leper does. When the Nazarene carpenter walks by, the leper does not simply look upon the good teacher or the wise man. He sees his Lord and his only hope for restoration. He does not fear to cast himself in humility at the feet of God, seeking a kindness he knows he does not deserve. And, (what sweet relief!) he does not find Jesus lacking in compassion, mercy, willingness or healing power.

Before we use our willing hands, we must first receive the willing touch of his. Easter affords us the opportunity to remember that out of his love for those who were far away from God, Jesus resolutely faced the horrors of death on a cross, so that we, the damaged, the sinful and the needy might be healed and reconciled to the Father. Let’s worship the Lord of compassion with the humble manners of the leper, and marvel at the response of Jesus, “I am willing.”

Nothing short of an encounter with Jesus like this one will be able to sustain us to do His work.

Dimity Grant-Frost

CNM Student Staff Worker